Read more: The PsyKiK Writer: Their Diaries

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Their Diaries

Their Diaries
Their Diaries

    Boy's Diary


Dear Diary,

You dont know the phase of life i am passing through. You dont know the pain i am suffering. 4 long years. From the last 4 years she had been a part of my life. We were so happy together. The day when i saw her for the first time in college, i still cannot forget that. She was wearing a white churidar and with that mesmerizing smile, she looked like an angel from the heaven. Yes, she was one. Her wide eyes and those few strands of hair that keep on falling to her forehead. It is a beauty to watch her slowly setting back those strands back to her ear. Her lips were like a bud of roses and her smile, It was a ravishing beauty. I was falling in love with her from that instant onwards. I still remember the puzzled look at her face when i smiled at her. May be she was shy. I couldn't hide the joy i had when i found that we belong to the same class. My days went by daydreaming about her and admiring her for the whole day. Slowly, she too began to notice me. Our eyes used to meet every now and then in class. But i dint had the guts to stand up and say my love to her. I was in fear of losing her. If she says a no, then that would be too much for me to bear.Months passed by and i was becoming restless. Apart from the casual “Hi,Bye”s nothing much happened. I should blame myself for not having the spine to tell her what's there in my mind. By then, we had become friends and i got to know about her better. Every single moment of the day, i was thinking about her. The time we spent together in college, the wait for next day to come when we leave the college , the cute dreams about her when i sleep... It was sweet... Just like her.

It's so funny when i think about the day when i proposed to her. Second year at the college and the last exam had just finished. I knew that we wont be seeing each other for 2 long months.That had created a big pain in me. After every exam, she used to come to me and we used to discuss the question papers. It's wrong if i say,”we discuss”. Its actually she would be discussing the answers and i would be simply admiring the beauty of her eyes. That day, after the exam, she came to me and were discussing the answers,

“Do you have any clue about this 3D graphic design? I think i will lose marks for this” , she said in a worried expression and i replied,

“I love You...”

She looked at me for a second and went without saying anything. I was disappointed to the core. I felt hatred towards myself and thought that i had lost her. The whole world was appearing blank to me. I couldnt sleep that night and at midnight, i got an sms from her which said,

“Me too...”

You cant imagine how happy i was that night. I felt like running to her and hug her tightly. Yes... I was in love....

From then on, i had the feeling that she is mine and we had a thousand great memories to cherish. I really dont know what i am going to do tomorrow. It's her marriage tomorrow morning. One thing i know, i cannot live without her.

    Girl's Diary


Dear Diary,

My life is going to change forever after tomorrow. I dont know what would happen to me. I am getting married to someone else and i am cheating my heart. I cannot forget the one i loved for 4 years. I noticed him the very first day at college. He was cute and decent. There is some magic in him which made me to look at him stealthily every time when he is not noticing me. The day when he smiled at me, i dint know what to do. My heart started to pump faster and i was kind of nervous. I became more nervous when i saw him in my class, eventhough i was praying hard for that to happen. He sat 3 row behind mine and i knew he was looking at me all the time. I too wanted to look back and smile at him, but i was too tensed to do so. But whenever i got a chance, i used to turn back and check out what he was doing. The day when we spoke for the first time, i was super excited but i dint express that.That evening, i couldnt sleep thinking about him. Was that an infactuation? Am i just attracted to him? I realized its not a mere infactuation when we became close friends.We used to share everything between us. Eventhough i was the one who talked all the time and he simply used to look at me, i was loving it. Even his silence had a hundred stories to tell.

That day after the last exam of second year, i was totally worried. 2 years had passed by and he never said that he loved me. I was waiting to hear that from him every single day. Yes, i could have told him what i felt, but my shy nature and nervousness hold me back from doing so. What if i am just a good friend to him? That day when i asked him something about the exam, he suddenly said I love you. It was totally unexpected and shocked me. It tooke me a while to realize that, yes, finally he said it. My heart was full with joy and happiness that i couldnt speak a word. I just turned back and walked away as i afraid that i would hug him right in the middle of other students. That night, i messaged him thath i love him too and i slept peacefull that night after many months. Yes, i was in love.

Followed by the best time of my life. We had nothing but happiness. I feel so complete with him and he could sense my right mood even if he cant see me. We were so attached each other and were in deep love.

Now my marriage is fixed with someone else without my consent and i am forced to marry him. I have no clue about what would happen tomorrow. 1 thing is for sure, i wont accept any other man in my life other than my love. If we cannot live together, we would atleast die together.

    HIS Diary


Dear Diary,

December 9 2009. Today. I cannot forget this day ever in my life. It was my marriage today. The day each man cherish for his life time. The day that fulfils a thousand dreams. It was an arranged marriage. It's not because i don't believe in love. But it's just that i believe in making some one who doesnt know me to love me with my love to her. I am not a cheesy film hero who fights with his family and run away with the girl by pushing my parents who struggled to bring me up into tears. I wanted to start my life with the better half with everyone's blessings. That's how this alliance was fixed. It was decided among the parents and the day when i saw her for the first time at her home itself, i had decided that this is the right partner for me.

From then, i started to have a thousand dreams of us. I started to plan our future. I was in some other world. Thinking about the life after marriage. Me and her. Our kids, Our home. I was least interested in shopping. But then on, i began to go for shopping every week and filled my cupboard with gifts for her. I did my level best to make her comfortable at my home. She shouldn't feel anything missing in her life with me. I had never loved a girl at college or when i started working. I was waiting for the right person. Rather, i was storing my love to shower upon that one lucky girl. I have spent years thinking about the one i am going to marry and this is the girl, who would be getting all my love. She is good looking and well cultured. My parents too love her. They are waiting for her to come to handover the responsibilities of the house.I am sure she would be a good home maker and a great daughter in law to them. I am sure she would be considered as a daughter and not a daughter in law. I spent yesterday night with a million hopes and slept by dreaming about the great life we are going to have together.

Today, the marriage time was at 11:00 A.M. We reached the marriage hall on time and after a while, she too came to the wedding hall. When she sat next to me, i had a feeling that i am on top of the world.My heart was beating faster when the time arrived. With prayers for a bright future i took the wedding chain. It was then, she just pushed my hand away and got up. Then she rushed out of the wedding hall and went with a guy who was waiting outside. That was a shock to me. I dint realize what was happening. Her parents, my parents and every single person who had gathered in the hall was shocked. Later some time only i realized that she was in love with someone else, and was getting married to me without her consent. She just went with her lover and shattered my dreams. She just fled with him by stepping onto my hopes, which i had cherished for years. She could have directly told me that she dint like me and love someone else. If she had told, i would have happily withdrawn from this alliance. But she never did. If that had happened, me and my family wouldnt have been humiliated in front of thousand people. I just sat there in the wedding hall with a lowered head and i could hear the laughter of people for whom i appeared like a clown. That was heart breaking.

Dear Diary,

I had not done anything wrong to anyone in my life. I haven't humiliated or cheated anyone. All i did was listening to my family and hoping a good life with my partner. All i did was building a million dreams and praying for them to come true. But still, i am punished with this misfortune. I am not sure if i would be alive after writing this. It's not that i wont be getting someone else, but its just that i still cannot forget that humiliating smile i saw in the face of people who witnessed all these. Just a note to all lovers and who run away for their own benefit. You are not only cheating your family but you are also shattering the dreams and hopes of one person who had not done anything wrong to you and just only wanted to have a happy life with you.

-G.Sarath Menon

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